10 Ways I Knew I Was Gay While Watching the Super Bowl

by Richard Goldstein

1- Took piss breaks during the game, not the commercials.

2- Watched the butts rather than the ball.

3- Voted Mahomes MAP. (Most adorable player.)

4- Couldn’t follow the info in the chyrons.

5- Monitored the Taylor cam. (12 appearances).

6- Preferred Travis’s soiled uniform to his Elvis suit. (I’m into

basics).

7- Liked Brock Purdy’s name more than his performance.

8- Liked the costumes better than the songs in the halftime show.

9- Laughed at the Bud Light atonement ads. (So many horses.)

10- Taunted my husband for watching Cinderella in the bedroom.

Still, I liked what I saw. Skill, strength, strategy — very gay